Kind Heart

      Alright, warning readers now that this is going to be a blog filled with lots of emotions so if you don't want to hear it/read it, turn back now. 

    If you ask most people that know me, the one quality they admire in me is that I have a kind and forgiving heart. I've been wired that way since I was a little kid. I've had friends turn their backs on me, guys treat me like crap, and strangers belittle me. No matter the hurt and the pain, I always manage to forgive. I look at this characteristic as a blessing and as a curse. 

Let's start with the curse. Sometimes, I think it would be so much easier if I just didn't care. If every person that has ever hurt me, I could just erase from my life. What hurts the most is the people who know I care the most are the ones who will damage and destroy me. I don't understand what I do to deserve it. I try to move on from it. I'll try and remove you from my life and yet you people always manage to find a way back in. I try to be stronger but I can't help but let the pain get to me. You may call it oversensitive but I call it being human. I guess if I didn't care that wouldn't make me the person I am today. I just wish people who stop taking advantage of my heart, kindness, and compassion. I don't think you realize the damage you do because you never see it. You don't see me cry. You don't see me hurt. All you see if the person trying (and struggling) to push through. I wish some people who take a step back and be grateful for all the sacrifices and things I've done for them. The fact is that it is very hard for me to give up on anyone, no matter how much pain there is. I guess I assume there will always be sunshine after a hurricane. There is always a tomorrow after today. 

While this quality tends to show it's ugly side often, I see it truly as a blessing. Everyone makes mistakes. I by far know that I am nowhere near perfect. And like I mentioned above, I don't like to give up on anyone. I know that I see the good in people, no matter what people may tell me. Sometimes, I'm all people have and if I can be there as support, then I've done my job. I've found that many of the people in my life have helped my heart grow stronger. I like making a difference. I like being that glimmer of hope when people think all is lost. At the end of it, it is my kind heart and compassion that has gotten me where I am today. I'm humbled when people compliment me about how caring I am and how I have helped make them a better person. I know that none of that would be possible if I didn't have a kind heart. 

All in all I guess what you can get from this is that my heart and compassion cannot choose who to be there for. While it would be so much easier to give up every time someone hurt me, I'm just not capable of doing so. To those people out there who have hurt me (whether or not they want to admit it), know that I will still stand beside you through it all. To those people who have helped me grow stronger and my heart grow bigger, thank you. You have all helped shape me into who I am today. I'll end this blog with a quote from "For Good" from Wicked: "Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

PS: I love hearing and reminiscing on experiences I've had with people. If there is a particular encounter we have had that you remember, feel free to comment or message me. I love hearing from you :) 

Yay Internship!

I know I just posted the other day on Facebook about an internship I was offered, but I figured I would elaborate more on the opportunity here. The internship is with PETA Asia Pacific which is located in Manila, Philippines. For those you don't know, PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. They are a non-profit animal rights organization whose campaigns vary from exposing animal abuses in industry to teaching people about the benefits of a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle. 

Now, in telling people about my internship, I've gotten some responses that have been not so encouraging. I understand that this opportunity isn't for everyone but what I ask is that people not judge this chance based on a lack of knowledge. I feel that as soon as people hear "PETA", there is an immediate negative connotation and affiliation. The fact is that this organization has a mission that reflects a certain way of life. I don't see how they are much different from other NGOs and their various causes. I don't expect every person to agree with PETA's mission or what they strive to accomplish. However, I don't think it is fair to judge an organization (or person for that matter) if you haven't taken it upon yourself to read into the matter. 

I do think that this opportunity is extremely unique and I could not be more blessed to be chosen. As I've gone through classes at Tech, I've never had one focus on the issue of animal rights which is quite the international issue. Just look in the news lately. SeaWorld is losing sponsors as the movie "Blackfish" aired on televisions all over the world. Countries like Australia and Japan are stuck in heated debate over whether Japan's "research" whaling is a violation of international legislature. I look forward to learning more not just about animal rights but also how NGOs operate. International relations no longer exists just between nation-states. NGOs, IGOs, and MNCs are playing a much bigger role in the various international interactions. Like I said before, I think this will be an excellent learning opportunity and a chance for me to grow more as person. 

Now to find the money for a plane ticket :P

New Year's Resolution and stuff

So, I guess this is my first blog of 2014. I'd first like to take a second and wish everyone a very happy new year! I'm sure this year is going to be fantastic :) 

Now, with a new year comes resolutions. I have a couple resolutions this year that I hope I can accomplish. My first is to get back to a healthier weight. With the stress of last semester, I made very poor diet and exercise choices and I have no one to blame but myself. I hate that I let myself get out of control but now I have a chance to regain focus and make better lifestyle choices. Next, I want to continue to grow as my own individual. With a little over a year left in college, I figure I eventually have to determine who I am and what I stand for. I've already started learning the kind of person I want to be but I figure there is always room for self discovery and improvement. Finally, I want to continue building friendships and relationships that will last beyond graduation. This last semester really showed me who will be there when I need them most and who isn't worth my time. For the people I value and appreciate, I'd like to spend more time with you this next year, getting to hangout and chill. Life is too short to waste time on people who aren't worth it. These are my resolutions and I hope I can make them happen :P 

Moving onto the stuff section. So, I'm super excited to let everyone know that I have two internship interviews over the next couple days. Both of them are overseas and each have their own unique characteristics. I'm hoping that one of them pans out so that I can complete my requirements for International Plan. After doing a study abroad with a focus on language, I would much rather do an intern/work abroad as opposed to doing another study abroad. Completely switching gears, I had to go shopping the other day for fabric and let me tell you, the JoAnns in Alpharetta is almost heaven. I could seriously spend several hours in there, they had so much stuff. I will go back there in the future for my crafting projects. 

I guess that is it for now. Thanks for reading and have a great day :D