Being "The Friend"

So, my post today is going to be about something that both guys and girls can relate to and that is being "the friend". Let me explain what I mean. In my opinion, when you are friends with someone, you expect certain qualities out of them. For me, that is honesty, integrity, being genuine, <insert other cliche qualities>, etc. But, have you ever been caught in the situation where you are trying to be a friend, yet the other person doesn't want that? You think you are looking out for their best interest but they don't want to see that? 

I'd hate to admit how many times I've been in this situation. The worst is when you as a friend know a certain situation is about to pan out and yet the other person is too set in their ways to even take time to hear you out. I know that for me, it is especially hard when my friends are in toxic relationships (this includes friendships as well). It's like watching trains getting ready to collide; you know that inevitably, something terrible is going to happen. What do you do? 

I guess it would be super easy if your friend would listen and hear you out and actually process and consider the words coming out of your mouth. Let's be real. Does it ever play out that way? No. I usually get the head nods and yeah-yeahs as a way to shut me up knowing that what I'm trying to say is going in my friend's ear and out the other. So, now what? What happens when your words don't work? How do you be "the friend" when your friend doesn't seem to want that? 

The best thing to do when you feel like you can't be the friend you want to be the best friend that the other person will let you be. There isn't any point in wasting your breath as you'll only wind up feeling stupid and/or your friend may fight harder just to spite you. There is no need to make any harsh or irrational changes to the way the friendship occurs (ie excessive ignoring, purposely avoiding, etc). Try to be as supportive as possible. The fact is that you will likely need to be there when the trains collide to pick up the pieces and glue, stable, and tape your friend back together. 

It's definitely hard, I'm not going to lie at all. It's so much easier to just write someone off and kick them out for good. But think about why you are friends with someone in the first place. Friendships are never going to be perfect and there are always going to be ups and downs. Just remember through it all who YOU want to be and what YOU want out of a given situation. 

:)

Update

        First, let me say that I am so sorry I haven't posted in a while. Classes have started picking up and I haven't had a chance to get on here to write about what's up.

       Anyway, now that is out of the way, let me get you updated on what is going on. I have the honor of serving as a big brother this semester to Eli Black. Let me tell you, I'm beyond excited! After the madness of last semester, it is great to have something and someone so positive in my life. Eli, if you are reading this, you are super awesome and amazing! I'm stoked for this semester especially with Kayla as my co-big. The adventures we will have will be nothing short of epic.

      In other news, I am also in the process of interviewing to become a GT ambassador. In looking back on my time here at Tech, I find it amazing how much my attitude towards this school has changed. When I first got here, I was not looking forward to it at all; I more or less just wanted to survive and get out. However, through the experiences I've had and the people I've met, I can't imagine myself anywhere else. I should know in the next couple days whether or not this opportunity pans out.

    Besides that, I'm getting through my classes this semester. Hard to believe that in 1 year I will be graduating. It has gone by entirely too fast. With that being said, I want to start hanging out with people more. In the next couple weeks, I may be contacting you to hang out or if you want to hang, have your people call my people ;P

I think that is all I have....back to watching youtube videos!

Kind Heart

      Alright, warning readers now that this is going to be a blog filled with lots of emotions so if you don't want to hear it/read it, turn back now. 

    If you ask most people that know me, the one quality they admire in me is that I have a kind and forgiving heart. I've been wired that way since I was a little kid. I've had friends turn their backs on me, guys treat me like crap, and strangers belittle me. No matter the hurt and the pain, I always manage to forgive. I look at this characteristic as a blessing and as a curse. 

Let's start with the curse. Sometimes, I think it would be so much easier if I just didn't care. If every person that has ever hurt me, I could just erase from my life. What hurts the most is the people who know I care the most are the ones who will damage and destroy me. I don't understand what I do to deserve it. I try to move on from it. I'll try and remove you from my life and yet you people always manage to find a way back in. I try to be stronger but I can't help but let the pain get to me. You may call it oversensitive but I call it being human. I guess if I didn't care that wouldn't make me the person I am today. I just wish people who stop taking advantage of my heart, kindness, and compassion. I don't think you realize the damage you do because you never see it. You don't see me cry. You don't see me hurt. All you see if the person trying (and struggling) to push through. I wish some people who take a step back and be grateful for all the sacrifices and things I've done for them. The fact is that it is very hard for me to give up on anyone, no matter how much pain there is. I guess I assume there will always be sunshine after a hurricane. There is always a tomorrow after today. 

While this quality tends to show it's ugly side often, I see it truly as a blessing. Everyone makes mistakes. I by far know that I am nowhere near perfect. And like I mentioned above, I don't like to give up on anyone. I know that I see the good in people, no matter what people may tell me. Sometimes, I'm all people have and if I can be there as support, then I've done my job. I've found that many of the people in my life have helped my heart grow stronger. I like making a difference. I like being that glimmer of hope when people think all is lost. At the end of it, it is my kind heart and compassion that has gotten me where I am today. I'm humbled when people compliment me about how caring I am and how I have helped make them a better person. I know that none of that would be possible if I didn't have a kind heart. 

All in all I guess what you can get from this is that my heart and compassion cannot choose who to be there for. While it would be so much easier to give up every time someone hurt me, I'm just not capable of doing so. To those people out there who have hurt me (whether or not they want to admit it), know that I will still stand beside you through it all. To those people who have helped me grow stronger and my heart grow bigger, thank you. You have all helped shape me into who I am today. I'll end this blog with a quote from "For Good" from Wicked: "Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

PS: I love hearing and reminiscing on experiences I've had with people. If there is a particular encounter we have had that you remember, feel free to comment or message me. I love hearing from you :) 

Yay Internship!

I know I just posted the other day on Facebook about an internship I was offered, but I figured I would elaborate more on the opportunity here. The internship is with PETA Asia Pacific which is located in Manila, Philippines. For those you don't know, PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. They are a non-profit animal rights organization whose campaigns vary from exposing animal abuses in industry to teaching people about the benefits of a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle. 

Now, in telling people about my internship, I've gotten some responses that have been not so encouraging. I understand that this opportunity isn't for everyone but what I ask is that people not judge this chance based on a lack of knowledge. I feel that as soon as people hear "PETA", there is an immediate negative connotation and affiliation. The fact is that this organization has a mission that reflects a certain way of life. I don't see how they are much different from other NGOs and their various causes. I don't expect every person to agree with PETA's mission or what they strive to accomplish. However, I don't think it is fair to judge an organization (or person for that matter) if you haven't taken it upon yourself to read into the matter. 

I do think that this opportunity is extremely unique and I could not be more blessed to be chosen. As I've gone through classes at Tech, I've never had one focus on the issue of animal rights which is quite the international issue. Just look in the news lately. SeaWorld is losing sponsors as the movie "Blackfish" aired on televisions all over the world. Countries like Australia and Japan are stuck in heated debate over whether Japan's "research" whaling is a violation of international legislature. I look forward to learning more not just about animal rights but also how NGOs operate. International relations no longer exists just between nation-states. NGOs, IGOs, and MNCs are playing a much bigger role in the various international interactions. Like I said before, I think this will be an excellent learning opportunity and a chance for me to grow more as person. 

Now to find the money for a plane ticket :P

New Year's Resolution and stuff

So, I guess this is my first blog of 2014. I'd first like to take a second and wish everyone a very happy new year! I'm sure this year is going to be fantastic :) 

Now, with a new year comes resolutions. I have a couple resolutions this year that I hope I can accomplish. My first is to get back to a healthier weight. With the stress of last semester, I made very poor diet and exercise choices and I have no one to blame but myself. I hate that I let myself get out of control but now I have a chance to regain focus and make better lifestyle choices. Next, I want to continue to grow as my own individual. With a little over a year left in college, I figure I eventually have to determine who I am and what I stand for. I've already started learning the kind of person I want to be but I figure there is always room for self discovery and improvement. Finally, I want to continue building friendships and relationships that will last beyond graduation. This last semester really showed me who will be there when I need them most and who isn't worth my time. For the people I value and appreciate, I'd like to spend more time with you this next year, getting to hangout and chill. Life is too short to waste time on people who aren't worth it. These are my resolutions and I hope I can make them happen :P 

Moving onto the stuff section. So, I'm super excited to let everyone know that I have two internship interviews over the next couple days. Both of them are overseas and each have their own unique characteristics. I'm hoping that one of them pans out so that I can complete my requirements for International Plan. After doing a study abroad with a focus on language, I would much rather do an intern/work abroad as opposed to doing another study abroad. Completely switching gears, I had to go shopping the other day for fabric and let me tell you, the JoAnns in Alpharetta is almost heaven. I could seriously spend several hours in there, they had so much stuff. I will go back there in the future for my crafting projects. 

I guess that is it for now. Thanks for reading and have a great day :D 

Bye 2013

After the success of my blog while I was in Japan, I thought I would try something for 2014. I've decided that I am going to try and blog about what is going on in my life. I'll warn you now that I will use the blog for whatever I see fit for, whether that be expressing super happy thoughts or complaining about the struggles I face. I figure the best way to start off the blog is to reflect on the year 2013. 

2013 seemed like a crazy roller coaster ride that never wanted to end. I started out the year in a very crazy awkward spot. I had been accepted into a study abroad in Japan so I didn't take classes at Tech during the Spring. This may seem like loads of fun but really, it sucked because my friends were all busy with their classes and I had nothing but time. During this time, I also started my first college relationship with one of the nicest guys I've ever met. Besides work and the relationship, the first couple months of the year were pretty quiet. 

Then in March, I started my study abroad in Japan. It was definitely going to be the biggest test of my strength as I had never been that far away and on my own before. The hardest part was saying goodbye to everything I knew. I left behind friends and family and headed halfway around the world. I struggled the first couple weeks that I was overseas. It was hard adjusting to a new life and I missed everything I had back home. I eventually got adjusted to life overseas and even decided to try something new -- kickboxing. To this day, I think that was the best decision I made while in Japan. I miss the people I met at kickboxing so much and I hope to visit them again one day. It was only after I finally thought I was getting used to things when my relationship back home fell apart. I wouldn't say it necessarily surprised me but I really wish I could have made it work at the time. After that happened, I tried to regain focus on the exchange, but I honestly had no desire to be in Japan anymore; I just wanted to go home and be with people who knew me better and could help me move forward. On top of this, I found friendships back home began falling apart at the same time. I felt that everything was out of control and I had no say in what was happening. I decided it would be beneficial for me to go get counseling while finishing out my exchange. It helped me pick myself back up and get through the remainder of the exchange. Though it was a rough exchange, there were still plenty of good memories I have. I met so many great people and had lots of fun adventures that I wouldn't replace for anything. I look forward to getting back to Japan at some point in the future. Getting back....  

Upon returning back home in August, I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to survive this semester. Now that I look back on this semester, I still am not sure how I survived. I've had many of my friendships tested -- some have passed and flourished, while others have struggled and diminished. I've made some of the toughest decisions I've ever made and I've had to pay the consequences. However, not all was bad. I had a blast getting to serve as a Uniforms Lieutenant for the GTMB. It allowed me to meet literally everyone in the band and brought some great stories for friends to hear. I was promoted to Front Desk Manager at the GT Student Center. I am now having the chance to serve as an INTA ambassador and promote the unique program that I have grown to love. I was honored to serve as a VET for the second year in a row and humbled to be named "Best Damn Vet" at the end of it all. 

Now as the year is wrapping up, I've learned several things about myself. First, I learned how strong I am. This hasn't been a year where everything has gone how I wanted it and I felt that most of the time, I was fighting an uphill battle. However, despite the trials and tribulations, I got back up every time. It may have taken a couple minutes, hours, days, or weeks, but I never gave up on myself. I kept fighting because I knew I could survive. Next, I finally determined my level of tolerance of other people's crap. While completing my study abroad, I realized who I could go to for support and who was just there to hear themselves talk. I'm no longer a doormat nor am I going to let people walk all over me. I know that I am worth it and that the people I want to be surrounded by appreciate what I have to offer. Finally, I've started figuring out who I am. I feel that when the chaos of life picks up, it is easy to get lost in who you are as an individual. I've worked on taking a step back and letting life run it's course as opposed to trying to control every thing that happens. I've learned that it is impossible to predict every last scenario and how it will play out. Sometimes, it's just better to play your cards and see what happens. 

I can't imagine that next year will be any crazier than this past year has been. I look forward to whatever the upcoming year has in store and am ready for some new, crazy adventures. 

:)