Being "The Friend"

So, my post today is going to be about something that both guys and girls can relate to and that is being "the friend". Let me explain what I mean. In my opinion, when you are friends with someone, you expect certain qualities out of them. For me, that is honesty, integrity, being genuine, <insert other cliche qualities>, etc. But, have you ever been caught in the situation where you are trying to be a friend, yet the other person doesn't want that? You think you are looking out for their best interest but they don't want to see that? 

I'd hate to admit how many times I've been in this situation. The worst is when you as a friend know a certain situation is about to pan out and yet the other person is too set in their ways to even take time to hear you out. I know that for me, it is especially hard when my friends are in toxic relationships (this includes friendships as well). It's like watching trains getting ready to collide; you know that inevitably, something terrible is going to happen. What do you do? 

I guess it would be super easy if your friend would listen and hear you out and actually process and consider the words coming out of your mouth. Let's be real. Does it ever play out that way? No. I usually get the head nods and yeah-yeahs as a way to shut me up knowing that what I'm trying to say is going in my friend's ear and out the other. So, now what? What happens when your words don't work? How do you be "the friend" when your friend doesn't seem to want that? 

The best thing to do when you feel like you can't be the friend you want to be the best friend that the other person will let you be. There isn't any point in wasting your breath as you'll only wind up feeling stupid and/or your friend may fight harder just to spite you. There is no need to make any harsh or irrational changes to the way the friendship occurs (ie excessive ignoring, purposely avoiding, etc). Try to be as supportive as possible. The fact is that you will likely need to be there when the trains collide to pick up the pieces and glue, stable, and tape your friend back together. 

It's definitely hard, I'm not going to lie at all. It's so much easier to just write someone off and kick them out for good. But think about why you are friends with someone in the first place. Friendships are never going to be perfect and there are always going to be ups and downs. Just remember through it all who YOU want to be and what YOU want out of a given situation. 

:)